Stressed? So was a client of mine. After the relief she got from our sessions together, she encouraged me to share her story. Let's call her Jane.
Jane's husband had just been made redundant. He was depressed and she was trying to juggle the kids, their demands, the household finances and her husband's moods.
She came to me knowing that I had a knack for business, finance and women's work. Her expression said it all. She was exhausted and ready to plummet into depression herself.
I hugged her, and told her that she was safe, whatever she wanted to say or do whilst in this space was not going to be held against her, it was going to be confidential, and in fact, embraced for what it was: her reality.
Jane started with, as many of my feminine work clients do; "I can't do this anymore". She was feeling out of herself, she had lost her essence and taken on the responsibility of her family life, with no support from her spouse. She felt isolated, and felt the pressure of putting on a happy façade.
I stayed with her, allowing her to express whatever was there, her fears about her husband never coming back from the depression, her fears that she won't be able to manage the kids, and that eventually, they would lose their home, the home that she had so lovingly built with her family.
She had had enough, and was feeling the call for growth. But she doubted herself. She couldn't see how she would be strong enough for any more growth. She played with refusing to do any more for her family. "I'm so stressed!" she exclaimed. "I feel like I want to get out of these clothes, leave this all behind and just fuck off somewhere on my own."
Jane said: "I don't know what else to do. Please can you help me?"
Jane had been forwarded on to me by a friend of hers, Mary. What Jane didn't see in her haze of self doubt and exhaustion was that Mary, a good friend and helper, had given her a gift of support. Knowing herself, and her ability to help Jane, Mary had thought it would be best if Jane spoke to someone neutral.
Mary had, in fact, supported her friend through crossing a threshold into something unknown to Jane. What Jane didn't know yet, was that she was about to find the strength that lie within the Radiant Woman.
The radiant woman is gentle and sensitive. She feels deep caring and empathy for her fellow human, her compassionate sweetness fills the air with the flowing essence of acceptance. She nurtures us all.
Jane couldn't see this in herself. She felt like she had nothing more to give. She felt like if she tried to give any more, that she would die of exhaustion.
Knowing that our old patterns had to die in order for the new way of being to emerge, I gently suggested to her that this might be where she's at. Maybe she did need to die, maybe her old patterns were ready to be released and that she would find a new reality; something more sustainable and joyous.
Once she was open to hearing more, I gently suggested to her that even though it may seem like a stretch right now, she can evolve. Her feminine power can evolve. She can feel strong again.
I explained that the feminine evolves through feeling the fears and being supported through them with understanding. I asked her if she had friends who could support her evolution. She immediately referred to Mary, and she broke down. Mary had been there for her all the time, even when she was whinging about feeing so lonely and isolated. And she hadn't taken it personally.
I could see Jane's heart open towards Mary in gratitude, while she sat in silence.
We sat there, with each other, and the newly found truth. We are not alone.
After a while she asked me: "What can I do now? How can I reconnect with the people I love and be an active team player in the task of us rebuilding our family life?"
"Firstly", I said, "Make a promise that you'll be there for yourself. When you're there for yourself, the answers will start coming. But you have to be there for yourself, and learn to listen to yourself."
"Secondly, surround yourself with people who support your growth, like Mary, and embrace them. At the same time, learn to take responsibility of how you're feeling, and do not lash out to others when you're in a bad place. If you're out of alignment, retreat to your own space, feel the feelings that are coming up, and ask help from a trusted friend, if you cannot reach a resolution in yourself. To reach for a resolution within yourself, be brave and accept your self and accept that you're scared. You need to accept that it's ok to feel scared without knowing what's going to happen next or who's going to save you from your feeling. When you accept that you're scared and you share that with a trusted friend without wanting them to fix it for you, your vulnerability will be embraced, and your staying power with 'impossible situations' will increase."
"Only, when you can be there wholeheartedly, offer support to other members of your family. Remember that they have their own difficulties to deal with, and may feel very wounded. Whatever they say is a reflection of where they are, not a reflection of you."
"The only way to truly manage stress is to find the strength within and live from that."
With that thought, our session was over. Jane felt hopeful, and determined to give my advice a go. I asked her to get back to me within a week to see how she was getting on.
After Jane left, I sat down with what had just happened. I knew in my heart that she could become close with her family again, if she stayed on the journey she had started here today.
I stayed with her in spirit, and a week later she emailed me.
Jane's husband had just been made redundant. He was depressed and she was trying to juggle the kids, their demands, the household finances and her husband's moods.
She came to me knowing that I had a knack for business, finance and women's work. Her expression said it all. She was exhausted and ready to plummet into depression herself.
I hugged her, and told her that she was safe, whatever she wanted to say or do whilst in this space was not going to be held against her, it was going to be confidential, and in fact, embraced for what it was: her reality.
Jane started with, as many of my feminine work clients do; "I can't do this anymore". She was feeling out of herself, she had lost her essence and taken on the responsibility of her family life, with no support from her spouse. She felt isolated, and felt the pressure of putting on a happy façade.
I stayed with her, allowing her to express whatever was there, her fears about her husband never coming back from the depression, her fears that she won't be able to manage the kids, and that eventually, they would lose their home, the home that she had so lovingly built with her family. She had had enough, and was feeling the call for growth. But she doubted herself. She couldn't see how she would be strong enough for any more growth. She played with refusing to do any more for her family. "I'm so stressed!" she exclaimed. "I feel like I want to get out of these clothes, leave this all behind and just fuck off somewhere on my own."
Jane said: "I don't know what else to do. Please can you help me?"
Jane had been forwarded on to me by a friend of hers, Mary. What Jane didn't see in her haze of self doubt and exhaustion was that Mary, a good friend and helper, had given her a gift of support. Knowing herself, and her ability to help Jane, Mary had thought it would be best if Jane spoke to someone neutral.
Mary had, in fact, supported her friend through crossing a threshold into something unknown to Jane. What Jane didn't know yet, was that she was about to find the strength that lie within the Radiant Woman.
The radiant woman is gentle and sensitive. She feels deep caring and empathy for her fellow human, her compassionate sweetness fills the air with the flowing essence of acceptance. She nurtures us all.
Jane couldn't see this in herself. She felt like she had nothing more to give. She felt like if she tried to give any more, that she would die of exhaustion.
Knowing that our old patterns had to die in order for the new way of being to emerge, I gently suggested to her that this might be where she's at. Maybe she did need to die, maybe her old patterns were ready to be released and that she would find a new reality; something more sustainable and joyous.
Once she was open to hearing more, I gently suggested to her that even though it may seem like a stretch right now, she can evolve. Her feminine power can evolve. She can feel strong again.
I explained that the feminine evolves through feeling the fears and being supported through them with understanding. I asked her if she had friends who could support her evolution. She immediately referred to Mary, and she broke down. Mary had been there for her all the time, even when she was whinging about feeing so lonely and isolated. And she hadn't taken it personally.
I could see Jane's heart open towards Mary in gratitude, while she sat in silence.
We sat there, with each other, and the newly found truth. We are not alone.
After a while she asked me: "What can I do now? How can I reconnect with the people I love and be an active team player in the task of us rebuilding our family life?"
"Firstly", I said, "Make a promise that you'll be there for yourself. When you're there for yourself, the answers will start coming. But you have to be there for yourself, and learn to listen to yourself."
"Secondly, surround yourself with people who support your growth, like Mary, and embrace them. At the same time, learn to take responsibility of how you're feeling, and do not lash out to others when you're in a bad place. If you're out of alignment, retreat to your own space, feel the feelings that are coming up, and ask help from a trusted friend, if you cannot reach a resolution in yourself. To reach for a resolution within yourself, be brave and accept your self and accept that you're scared. You need to accept that it's ok to feel scared without knowing what's going to happen next or who's going to save you from your feeling. When you accept that you're scared and you share that with a trusted friend without wanting them to fix it for you, your vulnerability will be embraced, and your staying power with 'impossible situations' will increase."
"Only, when you can be there wholeheartedly, offer support to other members of your family. Remember that they have their own difficulties to deal with, and may feel very wounded. Whatever they say is a reflection of where they are, not a reflection of you."
"The only way to truly manage stress is to find the strength within and live from that."
With that thought, our session was over. Jane felt hopeful, and determined to give my advice a go. I asked her to get back to me within a week to see how she was getting on.
After Jane left, I sat down with what had just happened. I knew in my heart that she could become close with her family again, if she stayed on the journey she had started here today.
I stayed with her in spirit, and a week later she emailed me.
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