Your pesky anxiety is the key to finding what your true talents are

Suffering from anxiety?

Most people make the mistake of trying to only soothe anxiety. Stay with us to discover what your anxiety means, how to harness it and how to translate it to serve yourself and others.

My dear, Radiant Woman,

There's no need to run from the distress anymore. YOU have the power to move mountains. I know it. That power lies right behind your anxieties. And while I know that right now it may feel like you're drowning, trust me when I say that there is much more to distress than initially meets the eye.

Your childhood experiences, especially the struggles in you imprint period (0-7 years of age) may have caused you to suffer some level of anxiety throughout your life. The level and depth of your anxiety is usually tied in with your personality type: all types suffer from anxiety - some more than others - but the main thing to note is that everyone's discord with trust is unique, and the subtleties of it may go undetected for years. The most common way that anxiety manifests is by inability to relax. This can cause you to seek for solace in food, substance, shopping or even overexercising - or one the most dangerous of all habits; chronic sacrificing of your self for the benefit of others. All these habits or patterns are just ways for you to suppress and stay stuck in the psycho-emotional limbo of anxiety stemming most likely from your childhood. This issue is that if we don't harness our childhood anxieties, we never fully actualize as balanced adults. Anxiety may take a form of mistrust in people, unease in certain situations without any real explanation, or even suffering from a continuous sense of suspense, always trying to stay ahead and waiting for the other shoe to drop.

This sense of suspense will hold you back in careers, break down relationships and invite serious health conditions such as heart disease, migraines and type 2 diabetes to mention just a few. Major events, such as moving house, losing a loved one or even changing a job usually highlight our underlying level of anxiety. You know those times, when a change happens, and you feel like things are spiraling out of control? Those are the times that your suppressed anxieties are getting the better of you and the fears you are experiencing can no longer be silenced.

In a nutshell: we don't tend to deal with our distress until it's "on", and by that time it's too late; now it's just a matter of coping with it - or more to the point, fighting hard to not slip into a total disconnect.

Due to my own childhood abuse, I became an expert in moving through anxiety and even utilizing it. I kind of had to. I learnt to deal with the emotional and sexual abuse of my childhood, I taught myself to harness the power of the findings, and begun to apply the transforming methods consistently throughout all areas of my life. Loving myself enough to support myself like this has brought me to my purpose path and a joyous and exciting life, which, frankly, the odds were was never going to happen.

What powers are lying dormant behind your anxieties?

If you are like others that I've worked with, moving throug your anxiety may give you: - A strong sense of belonging

- Solid and respectful relationships - Secure vocational future

- Energetic and expansive creativity, and ability to express your creativity without borders. And much more.

But the first thing you need to realize is that your anxieties are not just a pain to be suppressed. They actually hold a key to who you were born to be fully, and without apologies.

Even though this is not the full process of harnessing your anxieties, you can start with these simple exercises: 1. Next time you feel anxious, write down the occurrence that made you feel that way. Simple as that. By doing this, you begin to shed light on what KINDS of situations get you worried. 

2. Once you have collected some information on the occurrences, and you have gained confidence in the process, you may begin to inspect the essence of the worry. Where in your body do you feel the anticipation of doom and what is your inner dialogue around it? 3. Begin to address those inner dialogues with consistent self parenting. 

4. Release the cellular memory of the trauma through staying with yourself, by utilizing movement and by applying other nurturing sensory experiences (like bathing, eating healthy food and so on).

For those of you who want to accelerate these learnings, I invite you to join us on our next Radiant Woman Live Weekend Workshop. This weekend is guaranteed to give you insights and specific exercises that will open you up to your purpose, relationship happiness and good health. We have a full money back guarantee on all our products just to make sure that the course is right for you.

For more information on the weekend workshop:
http://www.merjasumiloff.com/index.php/womens-work/weekend-workshops/

Or if you are not ready to commit to a full-blown course, check out our monthly online Hotseat event
http://www.merjasumiloff.com/index.php/womens-work/monthly-hotseat-event/

However you are going about your transition deeper into yourself, I wish you all the very best. Just remember, you're not alone! Your tribe is here. 

With love,

Merja

Ps. If you are not a 100% sure on your personality type, do a free test here:Personality Hacker Genius Style Assessment

The 3 Mistakes Empaths Make in Relationships

My Precious Empath,

You deserve to have deep and meaningful relationships.

Imagine your spouse coming to you and respectfully ask for your insight. Not because you're always there for them, but because they deeply honor your level of intuition. What would it feel like?

Imagine gazing into the eyes of a person who really sees you and the vast inner world that you hold close to your heart. Now imagine them wanting to be a part of it. Not because it amuses them or entertains them, but because you have a depth of understanding and wisdom that brings most people to their knees: They just want to experience your depth and celebrate it with you.

Imagine no longer feeling lonely, but actually being reciprocated your kind of commitment and loyalty from people around you. The kind of loyalty that you can rely on. Yes indeed. It's doable.

Most of us empaths don't have herds of friends who truly understand the depth of who we are. Because we have the tendency to understand others more than they understand us, a lot of our relationships end up becoming one-sided to one degree or another. And if you are like me, it was just a question of time before I felt somewhat taken advantage of and resentful. 

It was a rude awakening when I realized was that even though I felt like I was at the receiving end a bad deal, I was actually contributing to this issue quite passively, but very specifically. 

If you are feeling like you have these one-sided relationships, it is likely that you are directly contributing to your special kind of loneliness. The great news is that when you stop doing any one of those things, you begin to "magically" manifest amazingly deep two-way relationships, where you are not only understood, but where your uniqueness is also celebrated. Of course, this is no magic at all. 

Here's the 3 mistakes most Empaths make, which cause them unhappiness in relationships:

• Not setting appropriate boundaries 
• Having expectations of others' commitment to your relationship
• Withholding information about your deepest fears and desires until you get angry about them not having a voice.

Having realized my passive, but very significant input, I became committed to shed the bad habits. As a result, I begun to relax and even learnt new ways to socialize and connect with people. I begun to invite people into my vast inner world without losing my privacy and sense of safety.

If you have suffered from a string of one-sided relationships or are still struggling to let people into your inner world, please don't worry. There are plenty of exercises you can do, and courses you can take to teach you these important, life expanding skills.


Boundary exercises: Setting appropriate boundaries means being available to others, once and only once you have looked after your own basic needs first. Most of us empaths are self sacrificing, and most always put others' needs ahead of our own. And don't forget that everyone has different basic needs: don't judge your basic needs or compare them to others'.

1. Begin to observe yourself and what your needs are, so that you can fulfill them before overflowing your attention and efforts towards others. Write these basic needs down and keep the list with you to remind you when, inevitably, you forget. Cognitive dissonance can make you forget your new path, and using things like notes to remind us regularly will be a great tool to begin your transformation.
2. Commit not to extend yourself to others until your basic needs have been met in any given situation. In the beginning this exercise will feel selfish, but soon it gets easier. Just keep going!

Expectation exercises: You need to learn not to expect others to behave like you do. Most other types of people are not self sacrificing, and do not even realize how much attention and effort you are putting on the relationship. We are intense people, unlike other types when it comes to relating to others and building relationships.

1. Acquire several good friends, so that your intensity is not directed on only one or two people. This intensity can be overbearing to most people: not because they don't care about you, but because they have no ability to access the depth of understanding that you do.
2. Keep reminding yourself regularly that we are special kind of people, and that our depth of understanding and feeling will never be realized by most people.

Sending out invitations to your inner world exercises:

1. Learn to share personal information about yourself IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT and with people that you trust. It is imperative that people understand how hard it is for you to share with others. That's why Empath support groups can be so very valuable.
2. Put your mask or reflections aside for the moment and begin to  honestly and tenderly share your inner child with the world. This will open your inner world for people to explore and admire you even more. Please make sure to do this gently and very slowly. 
3. People cannot appreciate something they don't understand. So if you are not ready to invite people into your inner world through verbal sharing of thoughts, fears and desires, you may give them a glimpse of your inner world by through another kind of medium. Drawing, photography, painting, poetry and writing are just some of the more popular mediums among our types, and can certainly give your inner world a voice that perhaps you have been yearning to share for quite some time.

There are myriads of ways to learn these new skills, but one thing is a fact: you cannot learn these skills on your own. So make sure that you have a support network with whom you get to do this in a safe and honoring manner. If you don't have anyone in your immediate geographic vicinity, join a group or an organisation to make sure you learn these life-enriching skills. As I said before, you deserve to be loved and revered.

For those of you who want to accelerate these learnings, I invite you to join us on our next The Radiant Woman Hotseat event. This event is guaranteed to give you insights and specific exercises that will open you up to your purpose, relationship happiness and good health. For more information on the interactive Hotseat event, check out: http://www.merjasumiloff.com/index.php/womens-work/monthly-hotseat-event/

However you are going about your transition into happier, more honoring relationships, I wish you all the very best. You are so precious and you deserve all the happiness. Don't you dare to forget that! 

With love,

Merja

Ps. If you want more information on your special personality type, do a free test here:Personality Hacker Genius Style Assessment